Friday, October 19, 2012

2012-10-19 I'm Invisible Can't You See

We the harder I try to be part of the background, the more ppl provoke me. 
Yesterday morning, Thursday, I stayed at the Good Sam.  I wanted to organize paperwork and plan the next week or so of my stay at the Good Sam.  
I got a job working for Goodwill Industries.  I work at a store I have shopped at for over 30 years.  Hector and I used to wait for payday and  back in the 70's, this was THE place where we'd find our treasures.  I'd find vintage dresses and hats and unusual wall hanging stuff.  I love that store and can't wait to work.  I start next week.  
So, I woke up in a great mood Thursday morning.  I had the shelter breakfast of a bowl of oatmeal.  No milk tho, but I still liked it.  I walked across the street.  And while these days I sport a big back pack, they are banned from the cafeteria and the coffee house.  We are to leave them outside.  I, mistrusting creature that I am, cannot bring myself to do that.  So, I'm lucky I brought a big denim purse and I cram modem, little laptop, and a keyboard, plus whatever else into the purse.  I graduated from the school that teaches you can find a way around anything.  Anyway, I plugged in and was joined by one of the few people at the shelter I enjoy talking to.  A free spirit who lived on the beach at Port LaVaca.  He's Latino so we relate on a few levels.  We giggled at the FB stuff and when the coffee house closed at 8am, I walked across the street to the courtyard where all the smokers are out to kill me.  I get physically sick the smoke is so thick and the smell of testosterone is thick and suffocating.  I proceeded to organize 3 little note pad type of books.  I'd pull pages with writing and transfer the into to a new little book so as to have it all in one place.
It wasn't long before in the second book, they appeared.  Bedbugs.  I'd turn a page and out they'd crawl.  Linda, the bedbug queen, helped me to kill them.  A total of 9 of them emerged from the cover and from between the rings of the book. Gross.  I pulled the info pages and just threw that book away.  I've already lost so much due to roaches, to come here and have to lose things to bedbugs really chaps my ass.
So, I finished, and as it was 10 til 10am when they let us back into the dorm after allegedly cleaning it, I went in and lay down.  
I woke up to drama from the HG (Heroin Girl). Some old love of her life had made an appearance at the shelter.  She's already "in love"  with another shelter guy and didn't know what to do.  Oh My!  I really was blase so she kept going from person to person who each has their own drama to deal with.  She didn't know what to do as she cared for both these ex-cons that she loved to much.  
I went to lunch and they had soup.  Some kind of sausage meatball  soup.  It was tasty if sorta bare in the fixings but I ate it all.
I went back to sleep and before dinner was awoken by the wife of a staff member.  She doesn't work there.  
She had to issues to talk to me about.  Okay.  I looked at her thru one eye that could barely focus.  
The first one was for me to tell her where to find the TV remote because she was told I was the last one to have it.  I was awake now and sensed a need to be present and alert.  Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!  
I told her that I didn't have the remote nor know where it was as I never had the remote.  Now, I hair was on end and I was no longer sleeping.  I told her that I sat in the TV room all of 10 minutes but they were watching the old Dracula with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee.  I must've seen that a million times.  They were not watching American Horror, so I came back to my bed where I usually am.  I mostly stay there as I don't want to get to know these people.  I am leaving in about 3 weeks hopefully.  So, no, I don't know where the remote is.  I asked again the next morning and it has yet to turn up.
Her second issue was whatever was on my arms.  She peered intently.  I told her I wasn't sure what it was but that it was not bedbugs.  Bedbugs leave a slight tunnel where they burrow in and then suck your blood.  I had none of that.  I have a few cat scratches from playing with Prissy who likes to sleep on my bed.  I had small hives on my right and left forearms.  I don't know what they are.  I was eating generic benedryls like peanuts and slathering my arms with anti-itch creme.  The actually were better but still looked angry.  She assume a position of authority which I instantly resented and assessed that she just wanted to make me aware that they were talking because she'd just hate for them to go complain to management and for them to draw up paperwork and evict me.  Now, I'm mad but not gonna show it.  Her "concern" was ever so clear to me.  I mustered my fake sweet voice and told her thanks I'll take care of it.
She kept saying that it was just concern.  I didn't buy it. 
So, I called my liaison at community services and she advised me to go and talk to management mysef first before anything else happened.  I got up, tied my hair up, and went to the front desk where her husband was working.  I said I needed to talk to someone but not at the front desk.
They summoned Mr. Edward.  I told him what they said and that I was concerned that it wasn't staff that talked to me.  And that she was out of line.  He said they had no other way to monitor the Women's Dorm so she wasn't out of line.  Interesting, so there are planted "spies".  Good to know. 
He also said he wasn't the type to hunt me down.  I had already spoken to him about waking with my arms like that and we were going to spray my mattress, but, I never pursued it because I wasn't sure if it was all due to stress (I have lost hair due to stress), bedebugs, scabies, fleas (37 cats live on this compound-cat boxes everywhere), new soap, new detergent, chiggers...hell I just didn't know.  He said he trusted me to take care of it and not to worry.  I said thanks for listening man...and went to lie down for a few minutes.
I got up and went to dinner.  We had chicken, green beans, pinto beans, scalloped potatoes.  It was better than what we usually have to I enjoyed it.  
I called my sister and told her just so somebody else know.  I mean, I am at a homeless shelter and there's no way for me to know how people will react.  
This was only the beginning.


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