Thursday, December 21, 2006

One More Day to Go

Yesterday, I got home and I had the opportunity to sit on my back steps as my 5 chihuahuas indulged in the conplicated politics of chihuahuas. They rush the fence in a challenge to the chow across the way (he doesn't even appear interested in their hysterical chihuahua antics), run, play, chase, bicker, pee, poop, and then just pee for the pure enjoyment of it. I sat there and vegged out as they cavorted. I watched the trees swaying in the breezes of the cold front. It was 76 degrees yesterday. I had the air conditioner on. There is one regular tree next door and the leaves have all turned and yellow and are falling off gracefully. The palm tree and sea pine in my back yard show no sign of change at all. Pewter grey clouds blew in the mild cold front.

I have decided I may be down here for a bit longer than I anticipated. I don't want to leave here without finding the "perfect" job. I want my body to be totally stabilized on the new meds. Already, I feel a change of heart coming on.

When I moved down here I was deceived by people I had trusted for all my life. Unfortunately, what I didn't realize is that they have brain damage from taking anti-depressants for years and years and years and years. They are beyond the point of seeing themselves with a semblence of clarity. It's sad. But it became sad for me when I came down here and there weren't any jobs like in Dallas. And the pay? Oy! It sucks beyond belief. Housing for a decent place was exorbitant. I had nothing but problems til about March of this year when I started temping at TAMU CC. I was surviving on about $17 of food a week. And that includes dog food. I have become an expert in eating cheap. The City Fathers are retarded here. They strongly oppose any kind of progressive change. CC could be cooler than Austin. Way cooler, but instead, it has a non-progressive feel about it. I ran out of insulin and had no money to get any so I was almost deranged. I felt sick all the time. So, I was bitter and angry and filled with hatred for this area. Now, as things begin to kinda normalize, my emotions are becoming more balanced. Getting treatment for the diabetes had a lot to do with that stabilization. Getting the gig at the Crab Shack salvaged my self-esteem. A few gigs here and there help also. So, I am not so angry and filled with hatred at this time. I think I could be here a little bit longer than I planned. I also decided that living 2 blocks from the beach is not a bad thing and that I can tolerate the shackiness of my house. I can tolerate the intense fog and humidity. I can tolerate the flying sea rats (sea gulls) and their noise. I'm even thinking of writing a book about the place. There certainly are plenty of stories and characters. I'm just going to have to organize my belongings so that if we get a Hurricane next summer, I can quickly load out and if the place is swept out to sea, then it's swept out to sea.

Marty from across the street, wants to throw a Christmas Day BBQ and invite all the North Beach regulars. I'm now a North Beach regular. We're a particular brand of person. I've always wished there was an artist colony on North Beach and I guess this is as close as that's gonna be for now.

So, I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation. I felt trapped here. Now, I think the reason I came down here was to meet my Doctor and take full advantage of his revolutionary diabetes treatment. In January, I'm going to re-intensify my quest for gigs down here. Hopefully, I can offset some of this financial disaster that way.

Have a good day! More laterz....

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