Monday, August 07, 2006

Friday August 4, 2006 Joe's Crab Shack

The road goes on forever. The party never ends. (Robert Earl Keen)

Well, I was having a decent night at the Crab Shack even tho I still felt kinda weak and tired. I even was smart enuf to take a fan this time so that I wouldn't wilt.

Halfway thru, Greg, the GM, took me aside. I thought was gonna be fired. I was halfway fired. They've decided they need more variety and have booked a duo for every other Friday. I saw this coming. There are factions there at the restaurant who are consumed with being "cool" and since I cater to families a whole lot, I am not so "cool" in there eyes. These are mostly "young-ish" types who constantly make a joke of me when they ask me to "rock out". Never mind that when I do cater to families, it's because the dining room is FILLED WITH FAMILIES. I focus on the majority which sometimes excludes the people sitting at the bar who come in to get drunk, pick someone up, etc. Somehow, they convinced the GM that they needed more variety.

That's okay. I'm not saying this reduction is a bad thing. I could use a little break. I haven't had a Friday off since January. And like they say ad nauseum - one door closes, another opens. We'll see. I'm refuse at this point to ascribe any positive or negative aspects to it at this point in time.

Greg, the GM, said - "I understand if you want to get angry". Actually, getting angry would the be dumbest thing I could do. I just don't think they can get anybody that can cater to families, the bar people, old people, hippies, cowboys, Latinos, and almost anybody in between, the way that I can. So, I'll just play it cool for now. Besides, I may want Greg to put in a good word for me at Landry's or the other Crab Shacks and how would getting pissed off help me there. So, I, as gracefully as I could, agreed and tried to keep smiling for the rest of the night. But don't think I'm not worried about the financial ramifications. Just as I'm starting to just settle down and not have to freak about the money after all I've been thru, I have to find a way to make it up. I buy gas and food on my Crab Shack money, so it is painful in that way.

During my break I call my Corpus sister to tell her what's happened and she tells me they're going to Houston tomorrow. Houston? Well, it seems my Houston sister is throwing a big bash for the twins. Oh? I didn't know I thing about it. And true to my Corpus sister, the bullshit starts to rain from the heavens. "Well, she doesn't have your address. I don't have your address." She has my phone number. She has your phone number. "Well, I'm sure it's just an oversight." That doesn't make it better. That doesn't make me feel any better to know I'm just an oversight in their eyes. How do you forget a sister. It was intentional and why try to convince me that it was anything else. It's like they think I'm so stupid I'll just believe anything they say. As if. So, I let it go. I just don't care anymore. I'm tired of letting them hurt me. Could today suck any harder?

I go back and have to sing for another hour. I want to cry, but have to make sure everybody has a GOOD TIME. I just want to die. I feel so unwanted but I have to sing like it was 1999. Party time. Smiles for the families, old couples, and young lovers. Uh-huh.

We'll see what the future brings.

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